I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
