Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
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