The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I have fence marks all over my body
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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