the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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