I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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