i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My bed smells like the plague
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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