Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
