I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
