I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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