We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
