So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize