Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I seem to have left my pride at pride
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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