You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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