just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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