end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Sorry about my life...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
