shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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