Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
