What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize