I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize