are you still at the devil's house?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
