11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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