Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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