I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The power of my boobs compel you
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
