I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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