problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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