just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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