im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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