Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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