TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
