He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
