Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
