Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize