Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
