did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
