this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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