Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize