I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
