If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
