I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
