So drunk its hurt
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
