Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
