Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
