I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
