I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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