I hope mine doesn't look like that
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
