Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
