do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
