I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he thought i was a dude.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
