I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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