I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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