guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I will pee on everything he values.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
