Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
