who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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