I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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