So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
