if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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