We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize