So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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