i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize