There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
