This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
third nipple confirmed
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
