Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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