Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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