ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
