I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You made out with two different species that night
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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