Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
