Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
