My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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