what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
