there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Randomize
