I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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