Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
