In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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