This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
