Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize