Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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