I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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