I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
